"Okay, I've set up a schedule for you," said Cher, gesturing to the fridge, where she'd hung it with magnets.
"I don't need a schedule," Mel said.
"Yes, you do, Daddy, otherwise you won't eat right and you know what the doctor said."
"That doctor's a quack."
Cher looked at her father, eyes wide and serious. "It's bad enough you're sending me to a whole new school, I shouldn't have to worry about your health from all the way across the country."
"That's easy to fix. Don't worry about my health."
She sighed, setting a glass of orange juice in front of him anyway. "It would be easier if you just changed your mind about me going," she said.
"I'm not changing my mind, you don't need certain influences around," Mel told her, shaking his head and ignoring his orange juice both at the same time.
"Drink that. And there's nothing wrong with Josh!"
"He's your brother," Mel reminded her.
"He's not my brother. He's my stepbrother. Former," Cher argued.
"The word brother is right in there, and that makes it creepy."
"But why do I need to go?" she asked, hoping the whining route would work, and throwing in a pout for good measure. "He's the one just staying here. I live here."
"Because if you think this is okay, California has warped you and you need to go somewhere normal," he said.
"Daddy, do you realize you're sending me to the South?"
Mel paused, as if that had just occurred to him. Not wanting to be trumped by that, though, he said, "You're going, and that's final."
"This is so unfair!"
"You'll thank me when you're older," Mel told her.
Cher? Highly doubted that. Maybe she'd have to do some quick retail therapy before tomorrow.